In search of middle-aged mojo

What little mojo I had, has done a bunk.

I feel worn down and worn out.

Before depression wriggles under my skin, or I reach for the red stuff (wine, in my case), or inertia becomes the code by which I live (and that wouldn’t make for much of a life, would it?!), I need to act. I need to reconnect with myself and the physical world around me. Here’s the rub; I don’t have much of a stomach for either. Even the effort of thinking my physical and mental well-being needs to feature somewhere in my day, makes me want to cry, and eat cake, and give up before I’ve started. But if I can stop drinking, I can do anything, right?!

I have taken the next two weeks as holiday leave from my full-time job and I’m going to reacquaint myself with my children, my husband, my home and (dare I even say it), with me.

Counting the days early doors helped me quit the booze and since I’m easily discouraged and even more easily distracted, I figure that counting the days that I’m paying attention to my well-being until it becomes habit, or a natural priority, has got to help – yes?

So here’s how it is in The Sober Garden – seven months sober and on Day 1 in the search for middle-aged mojo.

Pictures and posts to follow!




9 thoughts on “In search of middle-aged mojo

  1. Seven months, you’re coming into a tough period where many recovering people find themselves… Mine came at nine months.

    You’re realizing that just being sober isn’t enough. There’s more to fix than just the drinking. Often it is said, “If you sober up a horse thief, you still have a horse thief.

    It’s time to fix your approximation of the horse thief.

  2. I found the concept of transition theory really helpful with those post six months sober blahs… I did a post on it when I was almost exactly 7 months sober too. Can’t link sorry as am on phone but if you search using words Dame Edna on my blog you’ll find that post.
    The idea is that any transition takes longer than you think to really bear fruit, and that actually after an initial period of relief you can start to feel worse again. It sounds to me as if you’re really aware that you’re feeling crappy, and that you’re taking steps to deal with it, which is what’s needed to get you on that upwards slope again yes?!

    Keep buggering on, my dear – there are smoother seas up ahead, I promise! Xx

  3. Your post and the comments above were helpful to read even though I sit here at just over 3 months. Hmm…that doesn’t sound very far, 92 days sounds much better! Good job on taking care of yourself!

  4. Dear Sober Garden,
    I am glad you are taking some time off to take care of yourself.
    When I was teaching full time, I didn’t take very good care of myself.
    I took care of the kids in my class, my coworkers, my classroom, etc.; however, I didn’t take care of my hubs, house, and myself.
    You are so worth the time you take to for renewal.

    • Wendy, thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement. You’ve got me all teary. I so appreciate hearing that I’m not the only one who finds working full-time a pisser. Love to you x.

  5. I agree with Jim, it’s tough when you realize that not drinking isn’t enough. We are all different and everyone takes solace in different things, but I find that having something positive to focus on (however small) is a huge help in filling the void. I am amazed how much joy I take from the 10′ x 6′ mini-cornfield we’ve planted. On my way home from work I look forward to seeing my wife and son, then grabbing them and skipping out to the yard to check the progress of our crop. It’s just amazing what it does for my spirits. I hope you can find some similarly simple things to bring you joy.

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