Honest; free of deceit; truthful and sincere
From this moment, I am going to attempt to live honestly, to be mindful of being true and truthful. As someone with a considerable streak of dishonesty running through their veins, this will be a challenge. I hope the discoveries I make through honest living (or attempts at such) are worth sharing in future posts but first, here are some pictures of Honesty the plant;
Common honesty; a European plant with bright white or purple flowers that bloom at this time of year.
Honesty’s always been a favourite plant of mine but especially in its fragile, translucent ‘gone to seed’ form:
Paper-thin and silvery, they’re so pretty, aren’t they?
Please wish me luck on my quest for honest living – and you’re more than welcome to leave any Tips for Living Truthfully you may have!
Thank you! And love from The Sober Garden x.
The Sober Garden 
Good luck! I think dishonesty is common in people with alcohol problems, and being honest is important to stay sober. I try to be honest, but it’s so easy to slip into my old ways. I catch myself exaggerating or starting to tell white lies and have to remind myself I mustn’t do that anymore. Nice flower pics, Keep posting!
Thanks as ever for the encouragement Noddy!
I can think of no more effective means to instill honesty deeply into one’s character and life than a robust mindfulness practice. Because it undermines the factors which lead one to engage in dishonesty, mindfulness functions as a powerful antidote and repellent to dishonesty. I cannot recommend highly enough the book “Mindfulness in Plain English” by Bhante Gunaratana – it is delightful and profound.
Ok, I’m going to take a note of that book’s title and author. Thank you for the recommend.
I lied a lot when I drank. Small lies. Unnecessary lies.
Now, I try to be honest. No exaggerating, no little stories.
It is unbelievable relieving to know what I say I mean.
Hear, hear!!
Yep, it’s one of the many reliefs sobriety brings, that’s for sure.
I found in my journey that the initial part of honesty – i.e. not telling lies to people – was both easy to achieve and very freeing. I no longer had to continue to remember what I said to person a or b or x and heaven forbid I realise that person a and x are now in the same space and therefore I have to reweave a new combined lie to support the two previous lies…. So much wasted mental and emotional energy!
However. Then there is the internal honesty. The looking deep at my motivations for my actions and looking past my own bullshit to see that actually there is a deeper not so pure purpose. That is still a daily work in progress but I find I can live with it and myself much much easier now.
Ah yes, ‘internal honesty’ – there’s the rub. It’s all too easy to be hoodwinked by your own bullshit isn’t it.
Where are you on bending the truth? As in “oh yes, that dress is a lovely colour/really suits you’ or “yes, I’d love to volunteer for the school fundraiser!” I find the hardest times too be honest are when it involves another’s feelings.. When it’s easier to say yes than no.. Perhaps I need to work on my diplomacy?
Hi SWMum, you’ve opened up a whole new can of worms! Saying ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’ – I wasn’t even thinking of that particular habit/pattern of behaviour but you’re SO RIGHT! It’s another display of not being true to yourself and something many of us (certainly me included) really battle with. Thanks for adding it to the mix!
Dear SG,
My lies tend to be ones where I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
I lied when I was drinking, telling my husband I was at work when I was at a bar.
I know some people really want my true feelings when they ask me if they look fat, for example.
I’m with SWMum, maybe I need to learn how to tell people my true thoughts if I can do it gently.
xo
Wendy
I don’t know Wendy, is honesty ALWAYS the best policy when it comes to sharing your true feelings with others? Is ‘cruel to be kind’ always the way to go? You strike me as the kind of gal who strikes the right balance and does so with integrity. But what do I know?! I’m an honesty novice! Love to you x.
Gorgeous pics! And yeah, getting honest with ourselves and others is a boon in a booze free life. 🙂
Boon. I love that word and don’t use it nearly enough. Thanks so much for the comment, “…a boon in a booze free life”. Amen to that x.
Just found you ‘the sobergarden’.
I lied for years. I hate writing that. I hate admitting that but I did. My comfort and feelings were more important than anything else, and protecting my right to be able to numb despite what others thought meant i had to bend the truth (how I saw it).
I am very much trying to live an honest life now and the stress has fallen from my shoulders. I physically feel lighter! I struggle to say what I want still – my ‘white’ lies are not harmful but I guess I am not being brave enough to always live the truth. The people pleaser in me still needs some work…
I’m working on it x
Hello! I’m so glad you found me here in The Sober Garden. Thanks for leaving a comment. Here’s to living the truth (yep, SO much harder than it sounds!).