Observations on the collapse of an ironing board

I know I’m running the risk of boring you all to death but since sharing is this century’s name of the game…I want to tell you that I’ve recently rid myself of ironing duties.




Embracing my newly found sense of liberation, I’ve unlocked those domestic goddess handcuffs, chucked them overboard and now tackle The Family Ironing Pile by folding away the laundry and distributing it around the house accordingly. Every evening before the children’s bedtime I ask if anyone needs anything ironing for the morning and mostly I get a “No thanks.” Et voila.

I never, ever, ironed sober. I would manage to polish off at least one bottle of red while ironing the hours away. Mindlessly gazing at the telly perhaps, legs aching from being rooted to the spot for hours, zoning out through booze. If I’d stopped drinking twenty five years ago, my ‘trigger’ would have been crazy nights out, usually involving dancing, laughing and crying (sometimes all at once) and not stopping until sunrise puts you to bed. If I’d stopped fifteen years ago my ‘trigger’ would have been cosy, sexy nights in with my husband. As it is, I’ve stopped now – today – and my ‘trigger’ is ironing.

Don’t iron, it’s bad for your health – just an observation.




I’m jettisoning the heavy stuff, reaching ever upwards. The next thing to chuck overboard – or off my back because that’s how it feels – is Preoccupation With Perfectionism. Perfectionism goes nowhere and it goes nowhere forever. It blocks creativity, it prevents sharing, it stands in the way of doing. And there’s little chance of enjoying peace if you’re obsessing over how perfect it has to be.

Every morning first thing, while the day is still pure and I’ve not yet opened my mouth to fill the air with meaningless noise, I do my swaiso exercise and imagine I’m physically throwing perfectionism out of my body, mind and heart. And it feels great. Shaking off perfectionism (or swinging it out if you’re still in swaiso mode) makes it possible to try new stuff, to pursue dreams, to love and be loved. You can – dare I even imagine the relief, the joy?! – be honest with yourself.

Here’s a definition of perfect;

perfect adjective:  having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

Perfection is here and within us already! I’m not the cleverest but even I can appreciate that to constantly strive for something that is only as good as it is possible to be is not a good use of precious time.
Here’s to a life well-lived. Here’s to appreciating every moment, the good and the bad. Here’s to an end to holding back, to only dipping a toe in to life for fear of it not being perfect. It is what it is.
Love from the Sober Garden x.


Skies on day 33

Here’s how the early morning skies have looked from our back door, in pictures from today and yesterday:




Day 33 and it’s pink clouds all the way…but to keep grounded, with both feet on track whilst reaching for the sky and enjoying the view – that’s the lesson to learn!


Practising a daily activity can really help you find your way through early sobriety, to manage those early counting-and-striking-them-off sober days. This advice was given by the authors of taking a new path and ByeByeBeer, wise women both and both seriously tooled up from long-term sober experience.

An activity could be anything – a ten minute jog, a bubble-bath (with chocolate). I am no action hero and initially I was stumped. But for the last two weeks, first thing in the morning before the day has left its mark and my head fills with whatever it fills with, I have been practising swaiso and it is serving me well.

The word ‘swai’ literally means to ‘swing’ or to ‘throw away’ and swaiso exercise involves swinging the arms back and forth with the feeling of throwing out negative energy, ridding the cause of blocks, tensions and anxiety. Have a look at this video…Raj Kumar Dham (below) will make you smile.



Love from The Sober Garden x.


A lifted burden

The burden of carrying alcohol – something that did not serve well – is lifted. To look up with a clear head and light heart is a gift, new and surprising. The pure relief to be rid of such a weight is huge; the lightness of being without it, incredible.

A stifled life is a pity. It is never too late to open your arms, to breathe life in for all that it’s worth.

Day 20.